There are two ways to run a business.

The first hinges on productivity. You're chasing: new leads, new opportunities, new revenue. Close it. Move on. Find the next one.

The second feels slower. You're planting seeds, tending relationships, and trusting that consistent care will yield results you can't yet see.

Most of us default to the first mode. Entrepreneurship is scary, and a culture built upon perceived scarcity whispers that there isn't enough for all of us. So we pull harder, optimizing for now at the expense of forever.

This is extractive operating. It looks like hustle. Like staying busy, and continuously going after the next sale. But it's quietly depleting the assets that create lasting success: trust, reputation, relationships that compound over years.

The alternative is sustainable operating. Same effort, different orientation. Instead of maximizing each transaction, you're cultivating something that grows on its own.

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There's an old Taoist parable about a farmer who planted seeds and couldn't bear to wait. Every day, he'd go out to his field and tug on the seedlings, trying to help them grow faster. Within a week, every plant was dead. He'd killed them with impatience.

I think about this story when I see entrepreneurs operating in extractive mode. It looks like productivity. Feels like hustle. But it's just… pulling on seedlings.

Here's how it plays out: you feel insecure about revenue, so you prioritize new sales over existing relationships. Existing clients feel neglected, so they don't refer you to others. Referrals dry up, which creates more scarcity. More scarcity drives more desperate chasing.

The behavior you adopted to solve the problem, becomes the problem.

A friend of mine saw this play out recently. He was shopping for an engagement ring and had shortlisted two jewelers. Both did custom work. Both had strong portfolios.

When he asked around, he heard the same story about Jeweler A from multiple people: once you've paid, you become invisible.

Two different people had gemstones fall out of rings the jeweler had made. Getting the jeweler to respond, let alone fix the problem, was an ordeal. Meanwhile, my friend, a new prospect, received replies within hours. The jeweller was attentive, enthusiastic, eager to close.

The contrast told him everything he needed to know. He went with Jeweller B.

Here's what's tragic: Jeweller A probably thinks they're doing the right thing. New sales feel urgent. Existing clients feel stable. So they optimize for acquisition and neglect retention.

But every ignored message decreased the odds of a referral. Every fallen gemstone became a story told at dinner parties. Each new prospect who hears these stories crosses the jeweler off their list, before ever reaching out.

The jeweler’s losing repeat business, and poisoning their pipeline. All because they treat existing relationships as less important than potential ones. Because they see interactions solely in terms of transactions and have the shortsightedness to discount future potential. Because they pull at the seedlings.

Sustainable operators understand that trust compounds. A client who feels genuinely cared for becomes a referral source, a case study, a testimonial, a repeat buyer. The initial sale is the beginning of the relationship's value, not the end.

Both work hard. One builds assets. The other depletes them.

Recognizing extractive behavior is one thing. Changing it is another.

That’s because sustainable practices typically don't offer immediate feedback. You send a thoughtful check-in email to a past client and nothing happens. No dopamine hit. No closed deal. No proof it was worth your scarce, valuable time.

Meanwhile, that new lead in your inbox promises immediate gratification. I mean, it's right there.

This is why most of us default to extraction. The rewards are visible and fast. The costs are invisible and slow, until suddenly they're catastrophic, and you're the jeweler wondering why referrals dried up.

Research on habit formation shows that new behaviors take roughly 66 days to become automatic. One study tracking behavior change over 90 days found that “habit formation increased substantially over the course of three months, especially for participants who consistently performed the desired behavior during this time.”

So here's your experiment: commit to 90 days of intentional trust-building.

Each week, identify one existing relationship: a past client, a dormant lead, a former collaborator. Do one clear, non-transactional thing for them.

Non-transactional means no pitch, no ask, no agenda. Just value.

This could look like:

The key word is genuinely. If you're doing this to extract value, people will sense it. The practice works only when you're truly planting seeds, not looking to harvest.

Keep a running list: the person's name, the date, what you did. Nothing elaborate.

The tracking isn't for accountability. It's for visibility. After 90 days, you'll have concrete evidence of the seeds you’ve planted.

The research is clear: short-term challenges don't create lasting change. You need sustained, consistent practice for the behavior to become automatic.

Just as importantly, you need enough time for compound effects to become visible. Trust doesn't compound weekly. It compounds over months and years. But you have to start the clock somewhere.

90 days gives you enough runway to see early signals: a referral that traces back to a check-in, or a past client who reaches out because they remembered your thoughtfulness.

Before you send that next email or make that next call, ask yourself: am I planting or pulling?

If you're planting, trust the timeline. The seedling doesn't need your help to grow. But it does need you to stop yanking on it.

Clay

Automatically surfaces contacts you haven't engaged with recently and remembers context from past interactions. Removes the reliance on your brain’s storage, to complete the 90-day practice.

Notion

A free DIY alternative to Clay. Create a simple database (Name, Date, Action, Notes) to track your trust-building touchpoints. A lot more manual, but no monthly fee.

Reclaim.ai

Defends calendar time for habits and priorities you set. Use it to protect a recurring weekly block for relationship-building so it doesn't get steamrolled by “urgent” requests.